Everyone wants their teens to become healthy, self-sufficient members of society. However, it isn’t always easy to figure out how to get them to that point. The classic approach to learning, known as the Trivium, mimics the natural development of the human mind. There are three parts: grammatical, dialectic or logical, and rhetorical. One of the best ways for your teen to go through these stages and learn is through watching you. Here are five ways to teach them via example.
Communication
Your home needs to be filled with good communication. Make sure that you and your teen can have conversations about the things that both of you need. If you have an expectation for them, lay it out clearly so that they understand the entire thing. Don’t expect them to read your mind or infer what you want from other things. If you are clear with your communication, it will make things between you and your teen go smoothly. It will also show them how to communicate effectively in their own life.
Use Substances Responsibly
You don’t have to abstain from everything in order to be a good parent. But you do need to lead by example and be responsible with alcohol or legal drugs. These substances can cause you to make bad decisions. For example, drugs and alcohol are involved in over 15,000 car injury deaths every year. If you abuse substances and cause pain for your family, your teen isn’t going to listen to what you have to say. They will also be more likely to follow your example and abuse drugs and alcohol as well. Be open and honest with your teen about drug and alcohol use, both theirs and your own. If you demonstrate how to use them responsibly, they’ll have tools to use if and when they begin to experiment as well.
Show Vulnerability
You might feel like you have to be strong all the time for your children. While you do have a responsibility to protect them, this does not mean you should never show emotion in your home. Make sure that you are able to show some vulnerability around your teen. Let them know when you’re feeling frustrated or upset about something, even if it isn’t connected to them. You also show them that it is okay for them to express themselves.
Fulfill Your Own Responsibilities
You can’t expect your teen to do what they need to do if you don’t fulfill your own responsibilities. Make sure that you are on top of everything that you need to do. While mistakes will happen, if you are in control of your life and do things when they need to get done, you’ll show your teen that it is both possible and expected of them to do the same. So if you pay child support, for instance, make sure that you’re paying it on time. Child support is payable until the child is 21 and it directly affects them. So something like this shows that fulfilling your responsibilities is a normal thing to do.
Show Them Respect
You want your child to respect you, so you should show them respect as well. Talk to your teen like an adult. They’re still learning who they are and are trying to grow up, so respect that. Don’t talk down to them or treat them like a young child. If you show respect for them now, it will give them confidence and normalize treating people well.
You are your teen’s best example, so make sure that you are doing everything in your power to make yourself a good one. By showing respect for yourself, your home, and others, you’ll give your teen opportunities to see how to live as a good person.
