Why Do Toddlers Throw Tantrums?
The initial root cause of a toddler suddenly going into a meltdown and behaving horribly is very simple – they are not getting what they want. While that may be the reason, it does actually go quite a lot deeper than that. Toddlers are most prone to throwing a tantrum between the ages of one to three years old, a period where they have not yet learned how to properly communicate.
Tantrums are a normal part of child development, and is a way for the child to express their frustration when they are upset, and when they do not have the language ability to properly express themselves. The good news is that as their vocabulary increases and they are able to properly communicate, tantrums tend to slowly fade away. That still leaves us with the problem of what to do before they get themselves through this period.
Things Not To Do When A Tantrum Arrives
Remember, when a child is screaming blue murder and does not seem to be capable of responding to anything you do, it is generally because they are already seriously frustrated, so it is important that you do not allow yourself to lose control.
Screaming at the child to shut up is only likely to exacerbate the situation, as he or she is at a point of not responding to reason, and is likely to react even more negatively, as their frustration that you are not understanding them grows. Do not give in to the tantrum, as you are digging a very big hole for yourself if you do. If a child learns that throwing the toys out of the pram gets him what he wants, you are inviting lots and lots of confrontation down the road.
Hitting or spanking the child in a tantrum, may be the worst thing you can do. The child is already frustrated at your inability to understand him, so adding physical pain on top, is only likely to generate a renewed and probably louder protest, thus achieving exactly the opposite of that which was intended, while simultaneously teaching him that it’s OK to use physical force to get your way.
Positive Actions Work Better
Experienced workers in child care Sydney couples trust will tell you that it comes back to the communication frustration the child is suffering, and your ability to understand why possibly your child is upset and respond accordingly, that will best work for the future. A screaming fit out of the blue is normally from discomfort, so some attention and maybe a nappy change might help things. If it is in relation to a refusal, it is best to avoid trying to explain why he can’t have whatever it is, as he is not receptive right now to logical thought. Far better to focus on something different and try to bring the focus to something that he can have. Positive outcomes should be reinforced with praise when it is all resolved, so if it came from a refusal to pick up that toy, then the toy needs to be picked up once things have calmed down. Your child, even in the darkest moments of a tantrum, is trying to communicate with you and it is important you show the right reactions.
Keep your voice, calm and soft, to show being loud to make your point is not necessary, and never be afraid to totally, well almost, ignore your child. Persevere, for it will pass, and until he or she realises that loud noise does not necessarily sign the deal.
XOXO
Debbie
This article is published in partnership of Mediabuzzer
