Having g a stable life is absolutely essential to your happiness and fulfilment! It might seem fair to assume that stability is the default state for people, but this isn’t necessarily true. The reality is that creating a stable life is similar to a recipe, much like baking a cake, in that you need the right ingredients in the right order to get the desired result.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs expands on this, and is an interesting topic to look into, but for a few quick tips on how to ensure you have a happier and more harmonious life, read on…
- HOME
Having a stable sense of home is imperative. This doesn’t have to be a fancy property, it can be a room in a shared house, or even a trailer, as long as you feel safe, independent and at peace. This should be your “safe place” that you feel comfortable and grounded in. The well known saying “tidy house tidy mind” is true when it comes to creating stability – if you have a clean, tidy, and well organised home this has a significant effect on your emotional health and wellbeing.
Furthermore, your sense of ‘home’ goes beyond bricks and mortar, it’s a sense of certainty that the rug isn’t going to be pulled under from you. Therefore, the feeling of home could be described as a feeling of certainty and security; that everything is going to be alright – a shelter from the storm, so to speak.
- FINANCE
You don’t need to be rich in order to be stable. You do, however have to have an income. Whether this is a full-time job, a part-time job, or even welfare – there needs to be a secure and reliable income that comes from a stable source; meaning nobody has undue influence over your financial stability. Similarly, you need to feel on top of your finances, even if it’s the case that you start walking the long road to repairing your credit.
It’s not about being rich, financially free, or completely out of debt – it’s about taking control of the situation and feeling like you are on top of things rather than burying your head in the sand. That’s the core ingredient in terms of your financial wellbeing in addition to having enough income to be comfortable.
- HEALTH & WELLBEING
Your health is your foundation. You can have all the money in the world, a beautiful home, and great relationships – but without your health, life has a tendency to feel very unstable. The term “prevention is better than cure” is true when it comes to having stability, as when you know you are keeping on top of looking after yourself, you feel more positive and stable about the future.
- PERSONAL CARE
Whether you’re into medium short haircuts or flowing locks, taking care of your personal appearance on a daily basis is vital for one’s emotional health. We are all taught the basic routines of things like cleaning our teeth each day, showering, and trimming our nails – but with such busy lifestyles it can be hard to stay on top of our personal appearance.
DIY treatments such as teeth whitening, hair removal, covering grey hairs etc, although only aesthetic can really boost the way we view ourselves.
When was the last time you truly took the time to nourish your hair with something like a coconut oil overnight mask, facial treatment or even cucumber on your eyes. Taking care of your personal appearance in this way extends far beyond slapping on some concealer – and it’s more than skin deep… it’ll offer a huge boost to your self esteem.
- YOU TIME
Again, with such busy lives, particularly if you are raising a family it can be difficult to grab time for yourself. Think about the analogy of taking a flight, and how the safety briefing always points out that in the event of a loss of cabin pressure you should attend to your own mask first before helping anyone else – this applies in life. If you’re depleted and exhausted the whole time, you’re not going to be able to be present as a stable parent – you might end up being grumpy, snappy and irritable. It’s therefore vitally important you take time out for yourself; whether this is a spa day or a simple one hour candle lit bath with your favourite magazine.
The other thing to consider, on this front, is making time for your intimate relationship – as all too often, romantic time can become sidelined when faced with busy careers and families, so ensure you make time for the relationship… go on date nights and have a few weekends away together, in order to keep the spark alive.
- RELATIONSHIPS
It’s always been said that “no man (or woman) is an island” and when it comes to finding stability, a supportive network of caring friends is fundamental. However, sometimes, it can be the people in our life that cause our instability. It’s important to consider your relationships carefully and work out which relationships add to your sense of stability and which relationships destabilise you.
- MINDSET & EMOTIONS
The thoughts that you think create the feelings you feel, and at times, it can feel like you aren’t in control of your emotions but you decide where to focus your attention, and as the popular saying states “where attention goes energy flows”. This means that if you have a positive focus then you will attract more positive things whereas if you have a negative focus you will attract more negative circumstances. Meditation, and in particular mindfulness are great tools to help calm and balance the mind.
- LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
In a world that seems to be suffering with an emotional epidemic of low self-esteem, low self-worth and low-confidence; more self-love would appear to be the remedy.
Most of us live in a society, today, where there’s so much social pressure to keep up with the latest trends – whether that’s the latest iPhones, fashion accessories, or automobiles that we often look to external solutions to solve internal challenges and live our lives thinking if we just get YXZ then we’ll feel better… but life doesn’t always work like that. Here are three quick tips on learning to love yourself from the inside out.
8A. STOP TRYING TO FILL THE VOID
We’re all guilty of distracting ourselves from time to time, but this level of distraction can become unhealthy, as it’s very easy to find ourselves chase after things, or people, in order to fill the void within. The best way to fill that void is to simply accept it exists, honour the feelings you have around this, and look for nourishing ways to flesh out your own life rather than being dependent on a relationship or particularly aspect of your life (e.g. work or business) in order to prop yourself up emotionally.
8B.. STOP DOING THAT WHICH HURTS YOU
Think of the metaphor of having back pain; there’s normally a trigger that causes this pain – there are things that aggravate this physical pain and there are also things that soothe this pain. Just like how your daily activities cause your back pain, such as sitting at a desk all day without stretching, or picking up heavy items without bending your knees, there are daily activities you engage in on an emotional level that cause emotional pain.
8C. GET RID OF NEGATIVE PEOPLE
Having to deal with toxic, negative and depleting people is just a natural part of life, but there is now scientific research that proves the negative energy from others rubs off and stays with you like a virus. You’ve got to get around positive, nourishing and encouraging people that have the capacity to support you.
In summary, it’s time to start treating yourself better and looking at nourishing yourself from self-love on the inside, rather than external items that are often distractions or compensatory in their nature… be this food, people, or things. When you start embracing the power of self love your whole life will feel wonderful.
XOXO
Debbie
This is a collaborative post
