Your family unit is one of the most important parts of your life. A family unit can take many shapes and sizes, but the same principles still apply. It may help you to learn that every family has its challenges. As life changes, such as when children come along, it can cause stress. Even positive changes are stressful, but you need to tackle each change and challenge together.
As a family, you should work as a team to stick together and work through life. Whether things are easy or hard, you should always try to maintain this connection. This is sometimes easier said than done, but here are some tips to help your family to stay strong, no matter what.
- Strong Lines of Communication
The trick to maintaining any relationship is to keep up the lines of communication. This includes your work relationships and platonic friendships, but it’s especially important for families. Even though you live together, it’s easier to fall into a pattern of barely communicating. Or, if you do communicate, to do so poorly.
The most obvious way that this comes across is when you have disagreements. If your temper or pride gets in the way, then a discussion can quickly dissolve into an argument. Things get said that nobody means and that everyone regrets. Even if you can work through the argument, the hurt is still there.
The best way to avoid this situation is to make sure that you don’t see each other as opponents. Discuss essential issues together calmly and, if necessary, give the conversation a break. You do still need to resolve disagreements, but don’t let tempers get in the way. Be willing to compromise and, rather than doggedly sticking to your opinion, offer solutions.
It’s easier to manage this kind of thing when you’re used to communicating with each other pleasantly. After many years together, some family units fall out of the habit of complimenting each other or being polite. This is a dangerous pitfall, but it’s one you can fix. Leave cute notes and compliment each other. Show appreciation when you can.
While technology is often an obstacle to good communication, it can help you as well. Many families have a group chat that allows them to share jokes or pass on information. These are practical and help you to bond.
- Spend Time Together
The best communication is face-to-face, and the best way to facilitate this is to make an effort to spend time together as a family. This can take a few forms. Many families have routines where they do things together throughout the day. Remember, you’re a team.
When it comes to chores, split them out throughout the family. Different families have strategies for them, such as allocating specific chores or rooms. Some families prefer to get it all done in one day, while others spread their chores out throughout the week. Bear your children’s ages in mind when assigning chores.
One great chore that you can take on as a family is cooking. Or, if you don’t want to cook dinner together, then tackle a baking project or another kind of hobby. Gardening also works as a kid-friendly family activity, as does working on the family car. Choose things that you’re interested in.
As well as these everyday activities, you should treat yourselves to some recreational activities together. Playing sports is a good way to keep everyone fit and healthy while having some fun as a family. Finally, schedule some special family days out. These can be educational, exciting, or just a treat for everyone. Give the whole family a voice when it comes to planning these days out.
- Make Social Connections
As well as improving relationships within your family unit, it’s also important to build relationships with other people. Friends are an important part of life for adults and children alike, and it’s important not to put all of your emotional and social needs on your family.
Make friends with other families similar to your own, but there’s also nothing wrong with mixing up your friendship group and including other people. Do things together as families, such as the aforementioned family days out and set up play dates for children. While your family should be your priority, don’t be afraid to spend some time alone with your friends either. Maintain a good balance between your family and friends and things will run more smoothly.
- Don’t Neglect Your Spouse
One major issue when people start to have children is that they don’t have time for each other. This can cause a breakdown in communication and foster resentment on both sides. One parent may feel neglected, while the other feels that their spouse or significant other has their priorities wrong.
The fact is, you need each other now more than ever. While it isn’t practical to spend much time alone together when you have a newborn, make the effort to keep your relationship going. Even a few kind words a day or an hour relaxing together after the baby has gone to bed is better than nothing.
When possible, arrange for your child or children to be looked after by someone else now and then so that you can have some quality time together. Act as though you’re still courting, so indulge in romantic date nights. This will help you both to feel more appreciated and like a couple, rather than roomates who happen to share a child.
- If Things Break Down
Unfortunately, not every family unit lasts forever. Problems crop up and things may break down. If this has happened, then it’s best to salvage the situation in a way that’s fair for every party, especially when there are children involved.
Seek legal advice on divorce to make sure that everything runs smoothly and that you get treated fairly. Divorce is an upsetting time anyway, so anything that can get rid of complications is helpful. If things go smoothly at this stage and you’re still able to be amicable with your ex, then your children will appreciate a more stable home life.
